6 Signs of Mom Burnout and what to do about it.

Mommy, Mom, or Mum burnout is surprisingly common no matter what you might call it and where you call home. Read on for common signs and symptoms of mom burnout and what you can do about it (no, it’s not all chocolate and Netflix unfortunately).

Pretty much every mum or mom (I live in Central England and we use mum and mom here) I have ever spoken to has experienced burnout, sometimes quite often. 

The reasons differ but the result is the same. Exhaustion. 

For me, I know I place too much pressure on myself until something quite literally snaps. I have been working on my self-love and self-care this past few years. Journalling has uncovered some surprising signs that can signify burnout. 

The important thing to remember is that you are not alone and you are definitely not failing to admit you have reached burnout. 

6 Signs of Mom Burnout.

Sign 1. You feel constantly overwhelmed.

We all know that having children is a never-ending job from dawn until dusk (and in between if you have bad sleepers like me). The sheer effort of the constant feeding, diaper changes, cleaning up, laundry, laundry, and more laundry are enough to make anyone feel overwhelmed. If you are a homeschooler like myself there is even less time for all that life stuff. 

What differs here is when you feel like you have no energy to tackle any of your usual tasks, things that you managed ok beforehand. This might be one of the first signs of burnout.

Quick Tip: Get rid of social media for a while (or forever if you want), it just makes you feel bad about what you are “not” doing.

Sign 2. You find yourself getting angry, often.

We all lose our cool at times with our children, patience is the hardest thing to muster on the most challenging days. 

If you are finding that you are getting angry a lot more frequently or at a seemingly little thing then this could be a sign. For me, this is the most noticeable sign. Emotional exhaustion can quickly lead to lowered patience so be aware if this is happening for you.

Quick Tip: Do a mental health check ( have a look below) and then make a plan to get back in balance. 

Sign 3. You are becoming more easily offended. 

This is a surprising sign for some people. When we are in a more content state the comments about our children, house, lifestyle, choices are easier to wash over. 

When we are in a burnout state then the slightest remark can send us into a very negative thought space. The root of this could be underlying feelings of failure, mommy guilt, or worries about others’ opinions, a problem to tackle in its own right. 

Unfortunately, when we are in burnout we have less resilience towards the opinions of others.

Quick Tip: Round up your mom friends or make a few phone calls to someone you trust and share how you feel. Your support system of friends and family will reassure you about what you are doing. 

Being around your own tribe of like-minded and trusted friends works wonders for your confidence. 

Sign 4. You are not taking care of your own physical, mental or emotional health.

All that is now out of the window. When we are in a burnout state we feel exhausted and drained so going for a run becomes unappealing but reaching for another coffee and chocolate bar will keep you going (for a while). Unfortunately, this only compounds the problem as exercise and a good diet are needed for energy and motivation. I strongly believe in the 80/20 rule though, I still want a brownie now and then.

Quick Tip: If a long run seems too big a task or meditation first thing in the morning just can’t fit in then start really small. Commit to meditate or sit quietly for 5 minutes and exercise for 10 minutes each day. Start small, celebrate what you do, and gradually increase it. 

Sign 5. You are sleeping badly.

This one really makes no sense. If you are completely exhausted then you should fall asleep the moment your head hits the pillow, right? Sadly that’s not always the case.

For some people (myself included) the more exhausted I become, the worse I seem to sleep. Sleep deprivation goes on for some of us beyond the baby years it seems.

I don’t know if it is because my body is running on too much stress hormone in the day or simply if I become “overtired”, the same way as children do. Whatever is the cause it is completely frustrating and can become a bit of a difficult cycle to break out of it.

Quick Tip: Get yourself some sleep stories. I like the stories on the Calm app, I have been using this since I went through severe insomnia whilst recovering from Postpartum depression. 

They changed my nights. I don’t need to lie there getting more frustrated every minute, I simply listen to stories and almost always fall asleep in time. The last time I couldn’t sleep I started listening to Harry Potter again, Stephen Fry’s voice is really soothing it seems.

Post: 71 Positive Affirmations for Sleep.

Sign 6. You are avoiding support groups.

Mommy support groups are brilliant especially when you have a new baby. If, however, you have recently found yourself avoiding your usual groups due to comparing your kids, life, house to other moms this might be a sign of burnout.

Quick Tip. Schedule time to see one trusted friend or your best friend. Don’t cut yourself off completely from your friends and support network, especially if you are a stay-at-home mom or a homeschooling mom. 

Spotted some signs of Mom burnout you are familiar with? Now the good news. What you can do about it.

Luckily there are many, many ways we can help get ourselves out of a burnout state and avoid going back into one again. 

You have probably seen the post going around social media… “self-care is not all salt baths and chocolate”. Well, I think it is a little of that and some other things as well. Let’s have a look and see what we can do.

Write it out.

I know journaling is not everyone’s cup of tea but free writing can really clear the head and help make some plans to change. Just pose a question such as “what is annoying/stressing/exhausting me the most at the moment?”. 

You might be surprised how quickly you can resolve a few things. Once you know what is causing you the most stress and/or physical exhaustion then try and just pick one or two small steps to work on that day.

 If it is housework, I really advise just ignoring it for a full day (it really won’t matter) then when you have allowed yourself a small break from it try and think up some ways to make it a little easier. I love boxes, colourful laundry baskets and drawers to quickly put away/hide the chaos.

Run it out.

Do some exercise. Even when you feel too exhausted to get off the couch I promise exercise is worth it. You get some time to yourself, you get to feel healthier and stronger plus you get a hit of happy hormones. 

Exercise also will help with sleep troubles and start you on a better track to proper rest. Running is my love but any exercise that gets you working up a sweat will do. There is a whole host of amazing online fitness programs around now. Why not try Gaia or Pilates Anytime.

Take up mindfulness. 

Learning mindfulness can give you an escape when the day becomes too much. Being a mumma is beautiful, exhausting, relentless work. Giving yourself 10-20 minutes a day to nurture a mindfulness practise will give you the strength to find that quiet space when you need it throughout the day.

Post: Meditation for Moms who don’t have time to meditate.

Read a book.

The kids are in bed but instead of gifting yourself a couple of precious peaceful hours you start on your list of chores or check-in with a work task. Of course, it is not always possible to ignore the chaos or leave work. If they don’t need to be done that night then give yourself the gift of peace and a book. Reading allows you a small escape and is a way to switch your thinking brain off for a while. A great present for a tired-out mom.

Rein in the need to be perfect.

Moms like to punish ourselves, don’t we? We need to be perfect, we compare ourselves to others and we feel like we are failing. This helps nobody, causes undue stress, and makes us more likely to lose our patience. Nobody does parenting perfectly, no matter what those social media photos might show.

Just accept life as it is THAT DAY and then move onto the next. Every day is a new beginning, you are just trying to do your best. Your children don’t need perfect. They just want us to be happy and present with them.

Give yourself time to work on your own ideas and passions.

 Allowing yourself this time to use your passion and creativity can actually revitalize a tired brain and give you more energy. It might be as simple as working a few hours on your business or taking a course online to up your skills and confidence for the future. Or maybe you love photography or gardening. Do it. Zero guilt. It’s ok to take this time.

And finally… yes take a bath and eat some chocolate.

Chocolate releases endorphins (more happy hormones) and a bath is just bliss with some beautiful oils and a few candles. Sometimes it just needs to be that simple.

There are so many more ways you can give yourself a reset and help cope with mommy burnout, these are just a few of my go-to techniques. I hope they help you and I would LOVE to hear any others that you have tried and tested. Let’s help each other out.

On the other side of the coin, If you know a single mom then don’t forget to check in on them when you can. I am friends with many amazing single parents and I have such admiration for all of them.

Final thought. If you are struggling to get by, day to day, and nothing is helping then talk to a friend or get some professional help. Chronic stress can become a real problem without you really noticing what’s happening.

Let’s share the love? Any thoughts to add? Just drop me a message below.

There is no way to be a perfect mother but a million ways to be a good one.

Jill churchill