The Ultimate Guide To Being A Happy Mom (13 Habits You Need).
This Ultimate Guide to Being A Happy Mom is a collection of Aha! Moments I have had since becoming a momma, wrapped up into one epic post.
The Ultimate Guide To Being A Happy Mom.
If you’ve landed here; welcome.
I am guessing you want to be a happier mom.
I am guessing you want to live life with joy and freedom.
It’s harder than you think, though, isn’t it?
Finding happiness, joy and freedom in the chaos that is motherhood is what this blog is all about.
Let me share the habits and hacks I’ve used in my journey to being a happy mom.
If you’re a mom, you’re a superhero. Period.
Rosie Pope
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Why do you want to become a happier mom?
Is this you?
- You want your kids to see you happy, joyful and laughing?
- You know there’s a happy mom hiding in there. You just can’t seem to find her under all the stress?
- You want to create a family life that is less stress and more fun?
- You want to cope with the hectic nature of being a mom without it stealing your joy?
- You want to reconnect with the wild and free woman you used to be before becoming a mom?
If you answered yes to any of these, you are in the right place. Let’s talk.
I have been in your shoes, and it’s really hard knowing where to start.
But as you have found this post, I know you want to become a happier mom. You’ve already made the decision.
Ready for the first step?
13 Positive Steps To Become A Happy Mom.
1 Gratitude, Gratitude, Gratitude.
Gratitude helps us to care for and even strengthen our relationships (source). When you feel grateful for the small stuff, you actively notice how abundant your life is.
A grateful heart is more likely to see chances to be happy. No missed happiness opportunities.
How to practice gratitude?
Start small. Observe 3 things about your day you are grateful for. A coffee from your favorite café. An unexpected warm Spring day. The painting your child gave you to stick on the fridge door.
Keep observing, look for the positive in your busy days. You will notice them more and more frequently.
You could also try using affirmations to increase gratitude. I talk a lot about affirmations in my blog (that’s because I use them daily and call them my self-care powerhouse).
Check out these unique 59 Affirmations for Gratitude and a Positive Daily Attitude to get you started.
2 Watch Your Environment.
I don’t simply mean your home.
Your environment is the people you surround yourself with, the way you style your home, the books you read, the podcasts you listen to, the places you connect with.
Take a look at the most influential people in your life. Your friends, family, coworkers.
How do you feel when you’ve spent time with them?
Lifted up and positive or dragged down and negative?
It might not be easy to stop seeing someone you work with or a relative.
You can take steps to protect yourself from their negativity. Limit time, avoid getting drawn into negative drama and conversations.
You can’t always control what’s going on around you, but you can always choose how you react and respond to it.
Now to your home.
Do you feel cozy and happy in your home?
A happy home does not have to be perfectly tidy and beautifully styled (unless that’s your thing of course). For me, my home has to feel authentic, cozy and an expression of our family.
It’s not that pretty, it’s not that stylish, and it is certainly is not tidy, but I love it.
Sitting on my sofa with a cuppa and a book is an act of self-care for me.
It feels like home. Happiness.
3 Change Your Mindset.
It takes a lot of time, energy, persistence and commitment to change your mindset.
Should that put you off?
I suppose it depends on how much becoming a happier mom really means to you.
It can be done. I am living proof of this.
Let me give you a short rundown of the words I used to use about myself;
Insipid, pointless, meek, failure, impatient, hot headed, opinionated, always attract bad luck, terrible mom….
This is just a few.
I thought life was against me and that my thoughts were separate from my reality.
If you take away one thing only from this post, please let it be this.
Your thoughts directly affect your reality.
If you are in a perpetual cycle of thinking negative thoughts, you will look for more negative in your life. You will attract more of the same and nothing will ever change.
Starting with positive affirmations is a great way to challenge some of those ingrained ideas about yourself. Why not try a few affirmations for letting go?
To change your life and the way you live your version of motherhood, you need to change your thoughts.
Finally grasping this has given me the courage to face my worry and low self-esteem and stop my thoughts from controlling me.
It’s allowed me to live in a more intentional and authentic way.
In the simplest terms, changing my mindset has given me the chance to be a happy mom.
Related Post: 11 Daily Mindful Reminders
4 Let Go Of Perfection.
Stop wasting your time trying to be the perfect mom.
She doesn’t exist.
Fall in love with the imperfect version of mom you are. She’s more fun, anyway.
Perfection is the enemy of joyful and free living. Stop trying to live up to this imaginary version of motherhood.
Stop comparing yourself to the moms on Instagram.
Remember Pinterest IS NOT REAL LIFE.
I love a bit of Pinterest inspiration and I use Pinterest to reach get my content out to moms like you. But I know Pinterest boards are not real life.
Just take what you need from it and leave the rest.
A few tips for letting go of perfection;
Give yourself a night off and order takeout.
Ignore the housework if there’s a chance to get outside in the sunshine.
Allow your kids to be grubby, wild and chaotic.
Expect them to have difficult days. Don’t let this derail you. It’s part of an authentic life.
Have a day a week when you ignore your phone and all technology.
Create positive mantras to live by which you can recite whenever you need a reminder.
Just be yourself, accept your flaws, live in a way that feels authentic to you and never stop working on your own development.
Go out and shine. You are perfectly imperfect, momma and you sparkle the more for it.
5 Simplify Your Life.
This is something I have had to be strict with since becoming a homeschooler.
It is so easy to say YES to every activity and meet up request. Any other FOMO homeschoolers here?
I keep our schedule as simple as I need to, for my benefit and for my kids. They don’t need or like having somewhere to go to every day.
If I feel like we are getting too busy, I will reassess and take breaks out.
We like to follow a relaxed homeschool life and rushing the boys out of the door every morning goes against that vibe.
If you are a school mom then this is even more important.
If you need to say no to some extra activities, then so be it. Family time is just as important as all the extra swim classes and clubs.
Learn to say no to keep your happiness and freedom.
6 Allow Yourself To Rest, Every Day.
Rest is a vital part of being a happy and joyful mom.
It’s also a big part of living an intentional life.
If you are always moving in high speed, you risk missing the view.
There is something to do, always.
That’s just the nature of being a mom.
Just because there is something to do, it does not mean you have to do it.
Leave the laundry in the basket, put off that call, say no to something if you feel over-scheduled.
Give yourself the gift of rest, every day and often.
Fun Tip: Make a list of a few restful short activities. Reading a chapter of a book, listening to some music, doing some stretches. Whatever you enjoy. Write them on some paper, then place them in a jar.
When you need a rest just randomly pick one out. Let your kids see you practicing self-love. If you have a baby or very young child, don’t pass by a nap time. Forget the to-do list. It can wait.
Related Post: Manifesting Self-Love In 9 Simple Steps.
7 Stop Comparing Yourself.
Yes, you do it; I do it. The mom you passed in the park does it.
It’s such a hard thing to overcome, but if you want to be a happier mom, you need to work on this one.
How to stop comparing yourself?
Well, that’s the hard part, but you can try a few of these on for size;
- Identify anything that triggers you. Instagram scrolling, meet ups with a specific mom, your own childhood memories? Observe your reactions and then make a point of challenging these thoughts and habits.
- Celebrate any wins and achievements. No win is too small. Today I washed the curtains of our new (but ancient) caravan whilst assisting garden science experiments. Massive high five to me.
- Watch your self-talk. Get into the habit of observing how you talk to yourself and about yourself. If it’s more criticism than celebration of yourself, do some work on that. Use affirmations to change your self-talk. Try one of these.
I Trust Myself
I Love Myself More Each Day
I Am Proud Of Myself
8 Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
It’s ok to let go of the need to do everything in this season of life.
I know that my children have a fun life and a happy mom. We eat a mostly good diet and have a house that is cozy, but a little disorganised.
You don’t need to do it all.
If it’s a hectic day and you are staring at the fridge wondering “what can I make with all this” take off the pressure.
You want oatmeal for dinner? Sure! Cheese on toast? Fine by me.
Go easy on yourself, momma.
You won’t always be this busy, so give yourself a break when you need it. A happy family is more important than getting life perfect (plus perfection does not exist).
Related Post: 6 Signs of Mom Burnout.
9 Connect With Nature.
I have a genuine love affair with nature. I have since childhood.
Nature is a great healer. As a mom I invite you to make best friends with the nature that surrounds you.
Whether you live in a village, rural oasis, or city center, you can always find a bit of nature.
Just a few minutes sitting under a tree, staring at some water or even smelling the scent from your window herb box. It all helps you feel more content and happy (source).
We spend as much time as possible in the garden; we go to homeschool forest meet ups (no matter what the weather is doing), we take plentiful camping trips.
Joyful tip: Leave your phone at home or in your bag. Give yourself a moment to unhook from technology and thinking and just be.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
10 Meditation
Meditation is an integral part of my own mental wellbeing formula. It can seem daunting, just sitting and observing your breath. Especially if you are always busy.
Start small, just a few moments and try a guided meditation if that helps?
Have a look at this post about meditation for busy moms.
Or are you wondering how much time you have to dedicate to meditation? This post will answer your questions.
Try out a guided meditation at first. I love the Calm app. It has so many meditations for beginners, relaxing music and sleep stories.
Just commit to doing a short meditation, every day, for a month. Like exercise and learning any new skill it takes time and consistence.
Give your head a break, become more present with your family. Meditation is a happy mom’s new best friend.
If meditation just is’nt your thing why not try one of these Science Backed Activities For Mindfulness from Mamas Find Your Voice.
Your calm mind is the ultimate weapon against your challenges. So relax.
Bryant McGill
11 Get silly, being a happy mom requires silliness.
My children love it when I am silly (which I am often).
I homeschool a strong-willed child and I am always looking for ways to destress our home. Laughter and silliness are a tool I pull out daily.
If you are feeling a little doubtful about pulling on the silly hat, then answer me this one question: when have you ever felt angry whilst laughing?
Laughter can completely transform your day. It relieves stress, increases joy and helps you feel more connected (source).
Here are 5 quick ideas to add more silly to your mom life;
- Wear a ridiculous hat and keep a straight face when you walk into the room.
- Have a tongue rolling competition.
- Put a cheerful song on and dance in a silly way.
- Splash in puddles.
- Talk in a funny accent.
If you are game, even try being silly out in public.
I know. That’s a big ask for any fellow introverts. It’s good to try, though.
Lessening the worry about what other people think of you is a big part in being a happy, wild and free mom.
So don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
12 Move Your Body.
I am a runner. I love going out for a long run with my running club. It’s the best form of stress relief I’ve ever found.
Do you exercise regularly or does this get put to the side because life is just too busy?
I am inviting you to stop that today. Put yourself and your wellbeing first.
It’s corny, but the adage “you can’t fill from an empty cup” is true.
Exercise is good for your physical wellbeing, sure. But for me it’s the benefits to my mental wellbeing that I run for.
Yes, there are chemical benefits to your brain and body after exercising (source) but it goes far beyond that for me.
Running makes me feel alive and free. Every long run I complete, I boost my confidence.
I get outside and into nature and soak up some sun and fresh air. If it’s been a tough week, I have a way of shaking off the grumps.
Running not your thing?
No problem. Find whatever exercise works for you. With the explosion of online classes you can try so many ways to get moving, from home.
You don’t even need to get out of your pajamas. I routinely do a yoga workout when the kids are in bed in my pjs.
I am late to the game but totally loving Yoga with Adrienne.
The yoga for nourishment and comfort is my favorite go to class. The video is below if you want to try it.
12 Make Time For Your Own Passions.
What are your own passions and interests?
Can you name something, that’s not your kids, that lights you up?
You’re an amazing momma, and you have an epic passion for your family.
That’s a given.
But being a happy mom doesn’t mean you need to forget all your own interests and desires.
For me, it actually makes me a better mom. Building my blog and dabbling at gardening are my passion.
Creating this blog has given me so much, aside from the income. Joy from writing, learning new things, meeting amazing people, freedom to work from home.
My messy and chaotic (the words that pretty much sum me up) garden is a place of color, bees and rambling plants and I love it. It brings me a lot of joy and calm and I love learning about the plants and animals that live and visit it.
If you are struggling to find what you might be interested in, then start with some journal writing.
I have lots of posts for journal writing inspiration, but I think this post on Morning Journal Prompts For Inspiration is good to try.
Finding your own passion will spark a light of joy and vibrancy in you. This will trickle down to the way you laugh and live with your family, so everyone wins.
Be bold and do something just for you.
13 Don’t Let A Bad Moment Ruin Your Day.
Another mom reminded me of the importance of this habit today.
We have homeschool gym class on Monday mornings. Other homeschoolers here will know that homeschooling is a somewhat later affair. This class is our only early activity of the week and it is always really stressful getting the boys there on time.
I became impatient and lost my cool for a moment. Instantly the mom guilt comes in, as it loves to. That guilt and frustration (at myself) lasted until halfway through the class when this other lovely mom told me to drop it.
No mom keeps her cool 100% of the time.
Just say sorry, have a hug and move on with your day. Otherwise you risk letting one hard moment (or a challenging hour) steal the joy from the rest of your day.
I no longer break down my days into good or bad.
As a homeschooler, I work more hour by hour. One rough morning or one harsh comment does not have to make it a bad day. It’s just part of the day. Don’t get attached to it.
Make your peace, learn a nugget of wisdom if you need to, and move on. You still have plenty more moments in the day to be happy and joyful.
Mom Tip: 5 Quick Ways To Reset From A Bad Moment.
- Put on some fun music. Make a playlist of joyful songs. Press play and have a dance.
- Be silly.
- Take a quick self-care break.
- Have a big hug.
- Phone a friend.
How do you feel about these 13 habits now?
When I decided to become a happier mom I needed some re-education. I wanted to make significant changes to my automatic way of being.
This doesn’t just happen whilst watching Bridgerton, sadly. I went on a mission to find positive mentors to retrain my thinking in a whole new way.
You just need to ask and you will find yourself put in front of the right people and mentors. This is a really important step to becoming a happier mom.
I have a list of books, right here, to get you started.
I really love an audiobook. It somehow makes putting away the third basket of laundry that morning more bearable.
These are just books that have helped me. Please share anything below that you have found useful. Other moms on here would love to know.
My Top Books For Self-Development And Increasing Happiness.
Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself- Dr Joe Dispenza
The Enchanted Life- Sharon Blackie
The Happiness Project- Gretchen Rubin
The Gifts Of Imperfection and The Gifts Of Imperfect Parenting- Brene Brown
The Brave Learner- Julie Bogart (more for homeschoolers)
Final thoughts on being a happy mom.
We all have our own version of happiness. Mine will differ from yours and yours might be different from your neighbour.
What we have in common is the desire to be happy. This makes us unique and similar in a beautiful way.
I am not blind to the struggles and challenges of parenting. I go through them just as you do, but I have an unwavering determination to be a happy mom.
This intentional choice keeps me going.
There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.
Jill churchill
I hope you can find your happiness in this hectic and beautiful stage of life.
I won’t say life will be stress free. Mine isn’t and a stress-free life just does not exist, but you don’t need to let stress rule your life either.
If this post has helped spark an idea of how to become a happier mom, then I am one happy mom myself.
More happiness in the world is never a bad thing.
What’s the one thing that makes you the most happy as a mom? Let me know below please, share your wisdom with the other moms on here.
Have a happy day.
Amanda x
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Allowing yourself time to rest daily is such an important habit if we want to feel happy and be healthy. Thanks!
Agree! 100% Love my moments of rest.