What are glimmer moments and how they create joy.

The stars still glimmer, no matter how dark the night is.

Amanda Newbery

You might know your triggers well, someone talking loudly on the train, your kids fighting, losing a parking space. But have you ever thought about your glimmers? What are glimmer moments?

Yes, they exist, and they are simple to find when you know how to look.

What are glimmer moments?

A glimmer moment is the opposite of a trigger. They are small, seemingly insignificant moments that provoke the opposite emotions of triggers such as joy, safety, contentment.

The term glimmers was first mentioned in the book The Polyvagal Theory In Therapy: Engaging The Rhythm Of Regulation, by Deb Dana, a clinician, author and speaker specializing in complex trauma.

When you notice these glimmer moments, you can use them to shift your mindset to look at the world around you in a different way.

Moving from looking for the negative to actively looking for the positive moments in your day.

Why should you care about glimmer moments?

In a nutshell, glimmer moments have a positive impact on your mental wellbeing. In a world of social media, demands on your time and 24 hour news reports, glimmer moments can offer you a respite or reset.

They bring you back to the present moment, give you the chance to notice the good moments that pop up in your day, and give you a brief warm feeling. When you actively seek these micro moments of happiness and gratitude, you’ll be amazed by the glimmers that appear in your day.

Yesterday I had a tiny glimmer moment in an otherwise hectic homeschool day. I was riding back from town along the canal path with my eldest child. Just in front of us, a shaft of light popped out and illuminated the grey winter scene. We both stopped and watched it for a few seconds and I saw it immediately as a glimmer moment. I thought how grateful I am to have this time with my children and how fleeting it is.

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Polyvagal Theory and Glimmers

I’ve been reading a lot about the vagus nerve this year and its link to our physical and mental health. That’s how I came across the concept of glimmers and polyvagal theory.

Polyvagal theory is a concept developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, a neuroscientist and researcher, to understand the autonomic nervous system (ANS) and its impact on social behavior, emotional regulation, and general well-being. The autonomic nervous system regulates involuntary physiological functions, such as heart rate, digestion, and respiratory rate.

The polyvagal theory suggests that the autonomic nervous system is not a simple two-way system, but rather a multi-component system with three parts. These three components are connected to specific behavioral and physiological responses, depending on the evolutionary stage.

One. Ventral Vagus Nerve (Social Engagement System): This is the most recently evolved component of the autonomic nervous system. It is associated with feelings of safety and social connection. When activated, it promotes a state of calmness, social engagement, and positive interactions. It aids in regulating bodily functions and promoting social connections.

Two. Dorsal Vagus Nerve (Shutdown System): This component is associated with immobilization and shutdown responses. When the body perceives extreme danger or highly stressful situations, it may activate the dorsal vagus nerve, leading to behaviors such as fainting, playing dead, or disengaging from the environment. This response is often seen in situations of extreme stress or trauma.

Three. Sympathetic Nervous System (Fight or Flight): This is the classic “fight or flight” response, associated with mobilizing the body’s resources to respond to perceived threats. It prepares the body to either confront a danger or flee from it by increasing heart rate, blood pressure, dilating pupils, and redirecting blood flow to essential muscles.

The source for all this information is from Integrated Listening, Dr. Stephen Porges and Dr. Ron Minson www.integratedlistening.com. It is a great website to explore.

How does polyvagal theory impact glimmers and triggers?

The polyvagal theory explains how our nervous system reacts to social and environmental cues and how these reactions relate to emotional and behavioral states.

So triggers and the opposite of triggers, glimmers, could be understood better using polyvagal theory.

Understanding your triggers and glimmers is the first step in caring for your beautiful mind.

If you think you might be a highly sensitive person (HSP), like myself, you might be more likely to trigger to a situation. But, you also are more attuned to go out and notice the glimmer moments.

Ready to find glimmer moments in your own life?

How to find your own glimmers in daily life.

It’s simple to find glimmers by becoming an observer of your own life. But if you’ve never practiced mindfulness before, this might seem like a big ask.

Maybe try a daily 5 minute mindfulness exercise to enhance your glimmer hunting journey.

Here are my five simple ways to find your own daily glimmers.

Become an observer:

Carry a notepad or use a digital note taker and note the simple things that occur in a day. No matter how small the moment. A stranger’s smile, a quiet hug with your child, birds on your windowsill, a song that you love. Train your mind to find those little glimmers in the day.

If you are new to mindfulness practice, why not try starting a guided daily 10 minute meditation to give you a head start. This one from Calm is where I started my meditation practice, many years ago.

Use a gratitude journal:

Gratitude is an attitude. There are many ways to welcome more gratitude into your life, but a gratitude journal is a great place to start. I like to use this prompt: what am I grateful for in the last 24 hours? This encourages you to look for small moments of joy and bring them to the front of your conscious awareness. You don’t need to think about the big events, just the small moments that are fresh in your memory.

Think of someone you love:

Close your eyes and picture someone you care deeply for. Your child, partner, a parent, sibling or best friend. It could even be your dog if they make you feel happy. Now relax and think of the last time that person made you smile. Bask in that warm feeling of contentment.

Set the scene:

Think or journal about what is your ideal moment of relaxation and peace. For me, it’s simple. The fire on, a pot of tea, something tasty to eat and a good book. Even just five minutes is bliss. Now make space in your day to create this micro activity. Winter is a great time to practice this glimmer. What’s more Hygge (the Danish concept of togetherness, coziness and contentment in life’s simple pleasures) than moments of calm and peace.

Post: How To Hygee On A Budget

Look for your special glimmers:

Stop what you are doing, right now, and look around you. What unique glimmer can you see, smell, feel or hear in this exact moment? A rain drop on a blade of grass, your baby gently snoring, the smell of cookies baking, the flower on your house plant, your favorite song on the radio. There are plenty of these tiny micro-moments around you, if only you stop for a moment and look.

Examples of glimmers

Glimmer moments are unique and specific to you, so it’s hard to create a list of glimmers, but here are a few examples to get you thinking. Remember, glimmer moments should offer cues of safety, feelings of joy and contentment.

• Seeing a rainbow
• A smile from someone else
• Feeling the wind on your face
• Watching a sunset
• Sitting by candlelight
• Hearing a baby giggle
• Stroking your pet
• Watching your children play
• Hearing a beautiful piece of music
• The smell of baking
• The smell of freshly cut grass
• A random act of kindness (either for you or carried out by you)

This is just a small list of feel-good glimmers that work for me. The word glimmer will feel quite different for you. Have a think about your unique needs and what brings you joy, then create your own list of little moments.

The first time you spot a glimmer is a joyful moment indeed. Write it in your journal and keep that memory.

What are glimmer moments for you?

Are you ready to welcome glimmer moments into your life? I hope so. These little micro-moments have been a game changer for me. The best part is they require minimal effort but give out big rewards.

If you have a mind that tends to wander and worry, like myself, glimmer moments offer you a moment of peace and a sense of joy. You can never get too many of them.

So, what are glimmer moments for you?

Are you happy to share your glimmer moments? Let me know in the comments below. I would love to create a huge list of glimmer ideas to share out to you all. Glimmers should be part of everyday life for us all.

Glimmering, here with you.

Amanda x

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